The New Rules - How to Become the Smartest Person... in Any Room
Framing effect: people place greater value on going from 90% to 100% than 45% to 55%.
Prospect Theory: a theory behind why we take unwarranted risks in the face of uncertain losses. The most famous being Loss Aversion, which shows people are more likely to act to avert a loss than to achieve an equal gain.
The psychological tactics required were to calm people down, establish rapport, gain trust, elicit the verbalization of needs and persuade the other guy of our empathy.
Listening is the cheapest and most effective concession to get to earning trust. It is not a passive activity, but in fact the most active thing you can do.
Be a Mirror - How to Quickly Establish Rapport
Good negotiators know there will be surprises; great negotiotars aim to use their skills to reveal these surprises.
Under you know what you are dealing with, you do not know what you are dealing with.
George A. Miller put forth that we can only process about seven pieces of information at a time. We are easily overwhelmed.
"A state of schizophrenia": the voice inside of one's head that you listen to can impede conversation. When two are in conversation, really there could be four.
The goal is to identif what your counterparts need and get them feeling safe enough to talk and talk and talk more about what they want.
Talk slowly and convey one idea: I am in control.
Mirroring, also called isopraxism, is essentially imitation.
Don't commit to assumptions. View them as hypotheses and use negotiation to test them rigorously.
Three tones available to negotiators
Late night FM voice
The positive/playful voice
The direct or assertive voice
Don't Feel Their Pain, Label It - How to Create Trust with Tactical Empathy
"Seperate people from the problem." Don't get emotional.
"The supreme art of war": to subdue an enemy without fighting (Sun Tzu).
The best way to deal with negativity is the observe it, without reaction and without judgement. Then consciously label each negative feeling and replace it with positive, compassionate and solution-based thoughts.
Beware Yes, Master No - How to Generate Momentum and Make It Safe to Reveal the Real Stakes
Compromise and conession, even to the truth, feels like defeat.
"Yes" is a meaningless answer that hides deeper objections ("maybe" is even worse).
Teach yourself to respond to "no" as something other than rejection, and respond accordingly.
Use the power of a "no" answer to provoke a response.
By turning niceness into a lubricant, we've leeched it of meaning.